If You Were My Daughter: A Memoir of Healing an Unmothered Heart

Summary

At nine years old, Marianne Richmond's life is upended when she collapses with full-body convulsions. "Pinched nerve," says the ER doctor. But when one episode becomes many, it's clear something is wrong. Afraid to be at school, in her body, and in her life, Marianne desperately hopes for help and healing. But her emotionally unavailable mother refuses medication on Marianne's behalf, preferring prayer and homeopathy.

At age 18, a full-body seizure in Marianne’s dorm room leads her to a diagnosis, medication, and neurological intervention. Physically, Marianne feels "fixed," but emotional healing proves more elusive. In the years to come, Marianne becomes a parent and writes a new story for her life. She authors children's books that touch millions of lives, each of them celebrating a mother's unconditional love. When her mother becomes ill, Marianne has a choice to make: will she be present for the mother who rarely felt present to her?

If You Were My Daughter is a story of learning to hear your own voice, of one daughter's return to wholeness, and a story of accepting that a mother's best can still fall far too short. Richmond illuminates how the stories we're born into shape the ones we tell about ourselves—and reminds us that we have the powerful permission to develop a new relationship with what is difficult in our lives.